The $#%+ We Tell Ourselves that Gets in Our Way
"When we both lie to ourselves about why we cannot succeed and then beat ourselves up for not being successful, how is that helping?"
I hear a lot of bull from a lot of people. Degrading self-talk, myths about diet and fitness, the reasons (eh-hum, excuses) why you cannot succeed.... all this negative info is affecting your outcome. I get it, you've tried this way and that way to try to get healthier, lose weight, gain definition, and you are falling short of the goal. What do you say to yourself when you fall short? I know, I have been there and used to have a negative tape running on repeat of "maybe if you weren't so lazy"....and "how good did that treat taste, fat a$$?"...and the worst, "if you'd just lose a little, work a little harder, eat a little cleaner...THEN you'd have what you want. THEN you'd be wanted, happy, pretty." I am calling BS on those negative thoughts and I want to challenge you to do the same. But also, quit allowing yourself to believe the excuses. They are also your enemy. When we both lie to ourselves about why we cannot succeed and then beat ourselves up for not being successful, how is that helping?
I heard a story the other day of a woman who is in her late thirties whose mother told her that her own weight gain happened in her thirties and she just had to accept it...WHAT?!? Magically, weight just appeared in her thirties and she had no control and so therefore her best option was "accepting" this? UGH!!! The truth to this magical occurrence of weight gain is that without stoking the fire of your metabolism, it does start to slow in most people during their thirties and weight gain is inevitable . On top of that, she allowed this slowing to worsen by feeling that her body and it's weight was beyond her control...something she could just write off.... and without working at it and feeding/ fueling her body properly, she was stuck in a heavy, slower body. No thank-you to this myth. Accepting this is a disservice.
Another woman tried to tell me that it is all genetics. This is only partially true. We are designed genetically to put on weight with an un-healthy, high-calorie, sugar-filled diet and a sedentary lifestyle. This would be true for any one of us. Also, it is true that your body shape, height, and structure come from your DNA and with that, sometimes some of us are bigger. What you do have control of is what you put into your mouth (and the amount), and how often you are moving and strengthening your body. Even if you have a stockier build, if you eat well and move often, you will weigh less than your twin who has a bad diet and spends free time only on the couch. Don't fall for the "genetic" excuse. How does this serve you? Accept what you have to work with (your body) and do with it what will make you the best you. Capiche?
This one kills me...The "I have an event and so I am going to starve myself, work-out 2-3X a day, and then I'll be where I need to be...." myth. Ugh...People, starving yourself leads to a slower metabolism and not only that but it can also backfire and cause you to binge on unhealthy food. Over exercising can lead to fatigue, burn-out, and injury and is not an effective way to get in shape. If your event is scheduled for a month or two away, you can exercise at a normal pace (cardio and strength training 3-4X a week) and make a healthy plan for eating where you eat all 3 meals and a snack from a clean, balanced, at home menu and include your suggested water intake. This will aid your metabolism to burn steadily and is a maintainable way to lose an appropriate amount of weight. If the event is next week, there is no better time to start the suggested lifestyle above but also be loving and accepting of who you are and what body you are arriving in. The prettiest girl in the room is not always the skinniest....she is usually the most positive, confident girl who radiates love and self-acceptance. Be HER!
(Not a myth but a habit that needs to be broken)
Can we all stop being the Negative Nancy in our own minds?? She is not your friend. Her comments and pressure and nagging are not motivating you to be your best self, they are in fact telling you that you cannot do it, that your best self is out of reach. Tell her to SHUT-UP! In fact, go a step further...every single time that negative voice says something mean to you, counter it with something nice. If you take the power away from the doubting part of your personality, you are gaining power from your source. Your source is your true self and all her potential. Tell her (your source) to come to the table and go toe-to-toe with Negative Nancy.
Let's go over some examples of how your Source can beat Nancy...
Nancy: Your arms look fat in that tank
Source: I'll work on my arms later BUT my cleavage is banging in this tank.
Nancy: You are TOO tired to go to the gym today. Let's just sit on the couch with this bag of chips.
Source: Fun as that sounds, I'll feel SO much better if I skip the chips and take a walk instead.
Nancy: Maybe we should skip the party...we have nothing to wear that looks good, and you've put on some weight....we should just get some take-out and watch Netflix.
Source: NOPE...we are going to put on a popping lip color, hold our posture erect (it makes you look 10 lbs lighter, ya know) and go and have a good time. Take-out is just going to make me feel bad and keep me away from my goals.
Put into practice some kinder inner dialogue. This applies to work, health, parenting, friending, everything. The guilt is not helpful. The fear is not helpful. Turn off the noise and live your best life!